Many of you have recently read my blog entitled “All Over the Place”.  I should have been careful what I wished for.  The other day, I got an email from a friend I know “in real life” asking me to connect to her on facebook.  So I set up a profile there real quick this morning.  Now, as today has progressed, my little facebook inbox is full of people I “know in real life” trying to connect to me.

And that scares the heck out of me.

Because in “real life” I am shy as can be and quiet as can be and un-noticeable as can be.  And hardly ever does anybody know what I am thinking.  Except maybe in a classroom type setting.  I will raise my hand and point out a relevant fact, and then discussion will ensue, but I do not dominate that discussion.  I just connect the dots, and the group moves along, and they don’t really even notice that I sort of directed them.  And that is comfortable for me.

Blogging and making friends on line has gotten to be really comfortable for me, too.  In a way, most of my Multiply friends “know” me better than most of my “real-life” friends do.

But what will I do if my real life friends read my blogs and expect me to be as articulate in person as I can be in writing?  I’ll be a FAILURE, that’s what!

Groups of people who all know each other and all know me … well that is UN comfortable for me.  Because, well, groups always want you to SAY something.  And you have to be quick, and witty and I’m … well … SLOW.  I think too dang deeply.  I need to process and connect all the dots.  I need to listen.


Well, I’ve got a facebook page now, and I suppose I gotta update the little blurb every day “Rani Kaye is … (you’re supposed to fill in the blank).”  My 50+ year-old “real-life” friends are filling in those dang blanks!!!!  Who knew?

Maybe in 2009 I’ll become as comfortable with verbal communication as I am with blogging and commenting.  When I was on Yahoo 360, I never ever ever commented … I just read blogs.  It wasn’t until the Yahoo mass-exodus began that I quit lurking and contacted the people whose blogs I read so that I could come over here and not lose the writers I loved to read.  Then one of those friends taught me to comment.  (Okay, so I AM an idiot.  I had to be taught to comment.)  Now I do it all the time.  Maybe someday I will even learn how to do it in real life.

… I’m not leaving Multiply, though, that’s for sure.  I’ll just practice a little with facebook, and then maybe invite my facebook friends over here to see what a “real” blog site is like.  Grin.

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10 Responses to Connectedness

  1. Rani Kaye says:

    P.S. The photo on this blog was taken this past spring. It is the photo I used for my facebook profile.

  2. ~ Kira ~ says:

    Hey, *you* are in charge here. You can participate as much or as little as you like in any internet site. If you look at this as a challenge that you want to meet, that's fine. But if it makes you uncomfortable, then tell your friends that – and, as you said, show them what a *real* blog site is like. LOLWhatever you choose – you go, girl!

  3. One foot in front of the other hon. And for what it's worth, I do understand what you're saying.The real-life Kitty is quiet, reserved, and slow to speak … except with people she's just met, or people she is completely comfortable with. The on-line Kitty is pretty out there. When the two worlds meet, it's scary, because the two parts of my personality are so different. Not in a disorder sort of way; I think it's the anonymity of the net that does it

  4. Missy F says:

    I have never tried facebook. First off, if you dont feel comfortable connecting up with old friends in "real life" leave it to the blogging. I am shy at first until I get comfortable with someone then Im not lol. Just like kitty said, one foot in front of the other. You choose the pace, you choose just how close you want to these people. Be proud. Have confidence in yourself. You can do it! Love ya. Hugggggggs

  5. I stay off face book, too many of my students on there.Keep a light heart.

  6. Mel Weinerth says:

    I had a account there closed it it is more for kids to me like it much better here did not care for their platform

  7. Rani Kaye says:

    Thanks, guys. All of your perspectives are great and very helpful. I woke up this morning realizing, first of all, that if at this point I just put my Multiply link on facebook, they won't bother to look. I do need to tell you though, that these are not "old" friends, but people from my church, all of them my own age; and they all seem to actually USE facebook, for pictures and to chatter (I don't think you can actually chat … but maybe you can).My second inspiration this morning was to post a song over there that I PM'd to a friend here last night. (I'll put it here too.) Because I guess, all fears aside (I'm braver first thing in the morning) I really DO want the people who know me in "real life" to really know me, too. So I want to learn to "talk" to them over on their platform … and then invite them over to mine!Well, here's what I posted to my facebook profile a couple minutes ago. And now I gotta get ready to go to work.Oh, and P.S. I think the reason they're on facebook is to keep an angel-eye on their children. All the children from our church's day school and high school are on facebook. It's kind of like the wonderful way the 21st century has bridged the old "generation gap" with the cell phone. Your kids will ALWAYS talk to you or text you on your cell phone. You just gotta know how to use the new-fangled devices! 2009 — gotta love it!

  8. heidi breuer says:

    actually facebook isn't a blog site it is for socializing which is fun to-I have a facebook site to

  9. Mama Bear says:

    lmao!! And, you posted this NOT on a Tuesday!! giggle! when I decided to blog.. I deleted my mom from my friend's list.. and the only one I left from real life.. was my husband. giggle! Y'all get to see the real me. And, that's rare. So, it does NOT surprise me.. to find out.. that others are just like me in that respect. There's a freedom.. here.. that isn't always available in the real world. There.. we can't delete and ignore.. if we wanted too. But, here.. if someone gets a bit freaky.. POOF.. it's just not a problem anymore!

  10. Rani Kaye says:

    Hmm. That's a point to ponder, Cherei. I've never yet had to delete and ignore here on Multiply … but I did do that once on MySpace … Hmm. Well, I don't tend to fight with people in "real life" , and I only throw snowballs back at people who throw them at me around here (oh yeah, I did lob that one over to Dave in the U.K. … but that was just to see how far I can throw) … Naw, I don't think it will be a problem to have my real life intersect with my blog life. Think I'm gonna "go for it" … one tiny little step at a time, though. I think I am probably a little more shy in real life than what reality really warrants. I was just "the new kid" 5 or 6 times too many. But I'm a big girl now. I can learn new skills. Gonna try, anyway.

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